Missed Connections.

You guys are going to think I am totally lame, but hear me out.  First, let me start in defense for myself.  I browse Craigslist all the time.  I like to keep in the know of the cost of rent, what's out there to rent, even some of the homes they have posted for sale.  I'm always curious to see what kind of jobs are available.  Maybe I could get a part time job in my free time.  (What free time)??  I like looking at the animals for sale or free to a good home.  I like browsing through the furniture to see what kind of great deal I could get.  My sister got her kitchen table for 100 bucks.  One man's trash is another man's treasure, and I love DIY projects.

The other day I was looking at the CL "home page."  I never really pay much attention to the left side of the page, cause really "personals" kinda creep me out.  But there's a section called "missed connections," that I felt compelled to click on.  What does that even mean?  Missed connections?  So, I clicked it.

It's kinda creepy, kinda heartwarming, kinda sad, kinda hopeful, kinda weird, kinda endearing.  Have you ever checked it out?  I'm assuming not.  People basically post their interest in getting to know someone.  For example:  Saw you at _____ on ____.  You were wearing _____.  We spoke for a few minutes about _____.  I felt there was a connection there.  Did you feel it too?  

There was another that I thought was actually pretty thoughtful.  A guy posted something about a girl who was totally drunk or drugged out (can't remember), that he was concerned about.  He had helped her out of the bar and into a car.  He didn't know who she was and he was basically just concerned that she made it home safely and was...well, alive.

I'm gonna go on the hopeful assumption that not all the people who post those threads are total creepers. In that light, it makes it much more romantic.  Haven't we all had those random run-ins with someone, where you're just kicking yourself later?  It is really hard to meet new people, especially single people.  There aren't a whole lot of options for those looking for love.

Of course some of them are totally inappropriate.  It just makes me feel less alone.  I am surrounded by people who have someone.  It puts my little heart at ease knowing other people are lonely too, that I'm not the last single person in the world (when sometimes it feels like it).  It gives me hope in a time when so much of the world is negative, so much in my life is negative, so much in my head is negative.  It puts a little smile on my face when realizing, we all want to love and be loved in return.

Moving Along.

I far too often worry about life.  I feel like everyone else's lives are moving forward, and mine is at a constant standstill.  Of course looking back I can list multiple changes that have occurred, proving I am moving right along at my own consistent pace.

I guess lately, I've been feeling overwhelmed with a lot of things on my plate.  I think some of it has to do with the stresses of starting a new job.  My hours are a bit longer.  I'm adjusting to a new rate of pay, a new office, a new atmosphere, new work, a new boss, etc.  I'm super excited about this new opportunity, and I really think I'm going to love it.  This change is good.  It's positive.  It's definitely a step in the right direction.

School is going good, but I'm ready for a vacation.  I'm considering taking a class in summer school, but the break really would be nice.  I've got a B in the class, and that's good enough for me.  It's sad to say, I don't really care much about the grade, just as long as I pass.  I just need to make it through getting my AA.  It's going to be a tough battle.  But with each semester that passes, I am that much closer.  It's coming along slowly, but it's coming along.

I'm also currently taking my Hunter's Safety Course online.  It's looming over my head.  I really don't want to do it, but I need to get it done and out of the way...only to have to take my Bow Hunter's Safety Course after that!  Ugh.  My dad signed my mom, sister and I all up for the Hunter's Safety Course when my sister and I were in elementary school.  My sister and mom finished the course then, but I was too little and would fall asleep in class.  Needless to say I never enrolled or completed it, which is way I'm paying for it now!  It's just one more thing to worry about.  It's just more work to do.  I will be so glad when it's done though.  I will never have to do it again!

I haven't been sleeping well at night either.  I think it's all of everything in my mind keeping me up.  It's the mental list I go over in my head.  It's the anticipation of my alarm, so I'm not late to my new job.  It's the pressure of knowing I need rest, because I feel like I'm fighting getting sick.

Even though sometimes it feels like I'm going nowhere, I think I need to look at it in the opposite.  Maybe I'm just going in so many different directions.  I go from a new job, to hunting, to running, to school, and that's only a few things.  That's not even counting all the in between, random, and every day things.  But maybe this was all I need, to get it off my chest.  To lay it out in front of me.  To vent.  

Tomorrow is a new day.  

Language

This week in my psychology class, we are learning about language.  Coincidently, this little video was on some page that I came across.  

I think it's funny.  They are clearly having  conversation with each other.  I love when things come along like this, when they coincide with what I'm learning.  Makes the lesson all the more memorable!

Association.

You know how sometimes you just get the itch to go out and since our little town closes down by 8:00, really the only places to go out are bars?  Well, that's what my sister and I did last night.  She actually kinda likes going to the bars.  She likes the...diversity.  I guess you can call it, among other things.  We didn't stay long at either of the 2 bars we went to, just enough to get a fix and make an appearance.  I mean, we were home by before midnight.

Of course, you are nearly bound to run into at least one person you know.  We ran into some.  It's funny to me, out of the people you haven't seen in awhile, who remembers you and who doesn't.  We ran into 5 guys at one of the bars: 1 we didn't know, 2 were in my sisters grade, 2 were in between our grades.  

I was introduced to the two guys in my sisters grade.  One I remembered well, the other I recognized his face, but couldn't place his name.  One guy in between our grades, I had a crush on in high school.  He said hi to me, and that was pretty much it.  I hate that question, "What have you been up to?"  Working.  What else does anyone do?  And really that's it.  I spend most of my life at work, and I'm not going to go in detail about my personal life.  I'm sure he's only asking to be polite anyway.  Besides, I really didn't  care to catch up with him.  The other guy in between our grades, I know.  We aren't friends.  He's just a friend of a friend.  I don't know that we've ever been formally introduced, but he should definitely know my name kind of thing.

I saw two of the guys whispering out of the corner of my eye, and then I get an "Oh, you dated B." (Or something like that, I can't recall how it was exactly said, but the name was mentioned).  Ugh.  Here it goes.  I hate that comment.  Yes, we dated.  Now, it's over.  I have nothing against the guy.  We dated when I was young and at a completely different place in my life.  He is not someone I would ever date at this time of my life.  It was a long time ago.  I am a not the same person.  I really, don't want to ever be associated with him.

But I know it happens, we were together a long time.  Still, it haunts me.  I kinda turned away from the conversation, because I didn't want to talk about it.  But later the guy gave me a little half hug, so I think he understood I didn't want to go there.  I was kinda glad he felt he knew me well enough to do that.  He should.  I mean, I've actually known the guy for years, just not directly. 

It's hard to say too, what kind of capacity people are in when you're at the bar.  Maybe the person you run into is drunk already, and in that case would have a hard time remembering you.  Maybe, they are the designated driver and would remember you clearly.  Maybe, they really do recognize your face and not your name.  You just never know how or why or even if people will remember you at all.