When did being nice begin as a lead on? It seems like I can't even talk to a guy anymore without the assumption (on his part) that there is something lying beneath the friendliness. At what point did I become desperate? Because that's the way it's making me feel. Why can't two single people have a conversation without a participant or observer thinking it could be the start of a budding romance? It's hard enough being single, but worse to feel singled out.
And when did Facebook become a suitable outlet in asking someone out? Or even text messaging? If it's not an option to do in person or if there is fear in asking that person face to face, when did it become so hard to pick up the phone? It's not even like you have to grab the cordless and run away into your room to have some privacy. It's more like whip out the cell phone from your back pocket and call wherever you are. I absolutely love technology. I'm all about the social networking and blogging. But I guess when it comes to love and dating, I'm a romantic. I want to be pursued. I want to be called and seen in person. I want him to make a little effort.
I feel like I have a big red S for SINGLE written on my forehead. I run into an old friend, and we catch up. All of a sudden I feel like I need to make it clear I'm not interested in being anything more, because I'm not sure what he's thinking about our reconnected friendship. Is it an assumption on my part that he wants something more? Is it better for me to make it clear right off the bat? Or should I say nothing and let it run it's course? I meet a guy that I think could be someone fun to hang out with. Then he's got to ruin it by saying we should have dinner. Is this a casual friend dinner or this a lead into "I want this to be something more" dinner? There's a fine line.
When did being single become so complicated? I'm not necessarily on the prowl. I don't think "could he be the one?" with every guy I meet. I'm just trying to go through life, minding my own business, and hopefully pick someone up along the way. All these assumptions on other people's parts isn't making this independent soul searching experience any more easy or fun. Just because I go out to the bar, doesn't mean I'm looking to get picked up. Maybe I really do just want to have a beer. Just because I'm friendly, doesn't mean I'm interested. Maybe I really am just looking for friendship or an acquaintance. Maybe I'm not looking for anything at all and am just simply trying to make conversation!
I am really starting to feel desperate. All because why? Other people are making me feel that way? Because maybe I am a little lonely and I'm letting them get into my head? I do feel like a target though. All my friends have someone. All my family has someone. I'm going to be 27, and I'm like the only single person I know. I'm fine being single, but when did it start becoming so lonely?
