Country Man

I'm looking for one of these.

Not enough time in the day.

Life has been busy, like super, super busy.  I get overwhelmed easily when life gets like this.  I start freaking myself out about all the stuff I need or want to do that I will not be able to get done, because there is just not enough time in the day!

I read this question somewhere.  I can't even tell you why or where I read it, but it was: "Would you rather one more full day to a week or 4 more hours to a day?"  My answer would be 4 more hours to the day, every day.  That would be awesome.  I like being busy, but I don't like feeling overwhelmingly busy.  This week has been overwhelmingly busy.

But this afternoon, I came home and did nothing.  I sat in the chair.  I watched TV.  I played on my computer.  I read.  I took a really long shower.  It was just enough - enough time to feel relaxed, rejuvenated.  It was enough time to myself, to think, to be alone.  It was just enough time to not get bored, stir crazy, or totally annoyed by the people around me.

My Running Story.

I started running about a year ago now.  I was fresh off a break up from a nearly 4 year relationship.  In a 2 week period, I lost my boyfriend, moved out of my house and back with my parents, and got laid off from both of my jobs.  I felt my world was crashing down.  With all these major changes in my life in such short period of time, I knew that I was being tested.  It was either make it or break it.  I had lived with depression most of my life, and I was determined not to go back to that place.  It was time to change my life for the better, and I was going to take it.  My slate had literally been wiped clean, my time was now.

I needed an outlet.  I was so hurt, angry, and sad, but relieved, liberated and eager at the same time.  I was feeling so many different emotions and thinking way too much.  I needed to be able to escape from myself. I needed to care for my health, my body, my soul, my heart.  I needed something to focus on besides what was going on in my life.  I, myself, became that focus.  I didn't want to face people yet, and I didn't want to pay for a gym membership, so I started running.

About 8 months later, I was getting over the running.  I was feeling so alone, run down, over it.  One night I was bored and searching through the internet, hoping to find something that would re-spark my interest in running.  I came along this little blog.  I immediately emailed for more information, knowing that if I didn't, I probably never would.  I wrote that I was stepping far outside my comfort zone by even making contact, and if they had any words of encouragement to get my butt out there to meet with a bunch of girls I didn't even know, to do something I was on the verge of not wanting to do anymore.

Today, I am so thankful I got an encouraging response back.  I have met so many strong, beautiful women through Running Grrrl.  I've found them all to be so friendly, kind, encouraging, welcoming, admirable and inspirational.  It's not just the running that keeps me going to our weekly Saturday runs, but the girls.  I love that we all come together and bond over something each one of us loves (or are learning to love) to do.  I feel like I am truly part of something special.  I love that I know I have a support group who will stand up for me, help me in any way they can, support me, and pray for me.

I've for so long been looking to find something that I feel like I can belong to.  RG fits all the criteria I've been looking for.  We want strong, healthy, bodies.  We want to promote a healthy lifestyle for all women.  We want to use our gift of loving to run to help other people.  We want to reach out to our community and become involved.

I am so thankful for this lovely group of ladies.  I may not know all of them well.  We may not see each other outside of our weekly runs.  But everyone of them has become important to me, and I am so glad they've become a part of my life.

25 Years Down.

This weekend, I turned 26 years old.

I've never really had any expectations for my life, and I've always been a late bloomer. I can't really say my life is not where I had expected it to be, but it's definitely taken a variety of surprising directions.

I think I grew up more in the last few years, than most of high school and some college combined. 25 was a great year of self discovery. For so long life was hard, confusing, full of fear, anger, resentment, and stress. 25 changed my life. I discovered life can be great. I learned how to live life for myself and found out how liberating that can be. For the first time in my life, I feel happy.

I look forward to 26, and what this year will bring. 25 was pretty good, and I have a feeling 26 will be even better.