Frustration.

If it is possible for every ounce of who you are to be frustrated, then that's who I've become.  My life totally sucks right now, and I'm about to blow.  I can barely keep myself together anymore.  I take that back.  I can't keep myself together.  I've had 2 melt downs this week.  I'm tired.  I'm grumpy.  I'm mad.  I'm sad.  But above all, I'm frustrated.  Frustrated with work.  Frustrated with family.  Frustrated with the second job I've temporarily picked up.  Frustrated with softball.  (Thank God it's over).  Frustrated with the people I play softball with.  Frustrated because now school has started.  Frustrated that I have very little to no time for me.  Frustrated that I barely have time to run.  Frustrated that when I do have time to run all I want to do is sit.  Sit and watch tv.  Sit and eat a meal.  Sit to just sit, breath, think, relax, cope.  I'm frustrated that my move out date has been moved 5 different times.  Most of all, I'm frustrated that I'm so frustrated.

To make it worse, I'm developing insecurity and body image issues.  Something is definitely going on with me.  I think all my frustration is stemming from a couple of different things and it's just creating this avalanche effect on my life.  And I'm bummed.  Bummed that I'm feeling this way.

So to my very few (but very important) readers, I have a prayer request.  I need Him to help me and guide me through this difficult time.  I need Him to help me make important decisions.  Most importantly, I need Him.  I need to feel Him working in my life.  I need to feel His love.  I need to know that I'm not in this alone.


I haven't blogged in forever, and my first one back is a total bummer, but I needed to get this off my chest.  I don't really want to talk about it, and I needed to write it.  But most of all, I need the prayers.