A True Gentleman.

This evening I attended a funeral service, and a very elderly man was sitting a couple rows ahead of me.  To his left a woman much more youthful was standing next to the wall.  He glanced over, stood up, and asked if she would like to have a seat.  The lady smiled and said thank you but declined the offer.  He nodded as if in appreciation to her acknowledgement that he was old and wouldn't have bean able to stand for that long.  He turned and sat back down in his seat.   

The scene just warmed my heart.  He was the cutest little old man, and the gesture made him even more adorable.  Not to say that chivalry is dead, but I don't often see such gestures amongst younger generations.  It's still very much present amongst the men in my parent's generation.  Maybe I'm just not around guys enough (or the ones I should be around) to notice such acts of kindness.  Maybe they happen all the time, and I just haven't been paying attention.  

Either way, there's nothing quite like the kind gestures of a true gentleman. 

Palm Reading.

Last night my friend and I drove down to Pismo Bowl.  On the way as we drove by the Palm Reader, I said "We should do that one day."  She had never done it before and was pretty excited to try it.  I had done it once a long time ago, but I don't really remember anything that was said.  So after bowling, we went and got our palms read.

Not that I believe any of it, but I have to say it is quite interesting how spot on she can be.  She was kinda wrong with one thing in particular she said about my friend and I, but after thinking about it she wasn't so far off after all.  I'm sure she sees a lot in just how you overall present yourself, how you lay your hand out, and how relaxed you are.  My friend and I had 2 totally different styles in our approaches and how are hands were out.  My friend was more straight forward, sitting up and straight palmed.  I was more relaxed, crossed legged, and my hand was more cupped, relaxed than straight.  I think just that said a lot about our personalities.

She didn't say if I was gonna live a long, healthy life.  That is something she said to my friend right away.  She said my friend was going to have one child, a little girl, but didn't mention whether or not I would have children.  Unfortunately, those were things I didn't think to ask until after we left!  She said people come to me for advice.  I always put other people before myself, and I am my last priority.  She said I have a lot of good karma coming my way, but I have to be a little more selfish before I will see it taking effect.  I have to say "enough is enough," because people will walk all over me.  I am too easy going in that way.  I like to have things my way.  I am a hard worker and very driven.  She said I will be successful.

In love, she said 3 and 1/2 years.  I don't know if it's that time that I will meet him, or I will be married.  She said he will be a coworker, or I will somehow meet him through work.  It will be hard to work together, because we will instantly be attracted toward one another.  She said it will start a working relationship, develop into a very good friendship, and eventually become something more.  I thought this was kinda funny, because I had been thinking about the ideal way for me to meet someone.  I'm not one to be set up.  I always find it awkward meeting someone through friends, because the friends always get involved.  I knew I wanted to be friends before anything else, because the whole dating thing I find completely uncomfortable and have been dreading it!  To be honest, I hope she's right about this, because it sounds so much better than the other options!

What she was wrong about was the past relationship.  She said she sees me rekindling it or something.  I said "God, I hope not."  She then asked how long ago it ended, so I told her "About a year and a half ago."  This part, honestly, kinda made me mad.  She said if I was completely over it I would have said "Oh it was a long time ago."  But since I answered so precisely, she said that I may not be completely over it.  I'm sure I gave her a look, because believe me, it's over.  She said that feelings may still be lingering, because I don't feel completely over the relationship yet.  And that I probably wont until someone else comes along.  And that, I do agree with.  As much as I am done with him, I don't feel like all ties are cut off yet.  But I don't think that I can cut those strings until I start seeing someone else.  It's like that relationship is hanging on by a thread, because I haven't found someone else to distract me from it.  But what am I supposed to do?  No one else has come along!  That whole thing is kinda frustrating!

We were able to ask a few questions.  I asked if she sees me finishing school, and she said yes.  (Thank God someone sees that happening in my future)!  She said I will be very successful in my career, and she sees a lot of travel.  I asked if she sees me being successful in my future in the area or if I will be moving out of it.  Before I tell you what she said, let me just say moving has been in the back of my mind for awhile.  I'm not sure I want to go to Cal Poly after Hancock or where.  I really have no idea where else I would go.  My entire family lives in the area.  I think it would be so hard for me to leave.  On the other hand, I feel like it would be good for me to get away.  It's an experience I've always felt I've missed out on.  Anyway, she said that she doesn't see me always living in the area.  She said it will be a decision between me and my soul mate on where we will live.  Interesting...

Whether it's true or not, it was fun to go!  I think we'll even go again next year or something just to see how our readings change.  She sat down with us each for maybe 10 minutes and gave a pretty detailed reading.  I think it was worth the 10 bucks.  If not for the reading, for the time it killed, the conversation we had afterward, and the imaginative ideas and creativity it's sparked in our minds.

Slanted.

I've always loved to write. I recently decided to go back to Hancock next semester and finish my GE. If all goes well, I'm thinking about transferring to Cal Poly (maybe somewhere else) to go for a BA in Journalism. For years I've constantly debated about what I want to be "when I grow up." I've taken so many classes on a variety of subjects hoping something would spark interest. Nothing did, but I always, always, come back to writing. It's the one thing I absolutely love to do.

Writing is fantastic. I can go on and on about how much I love it, but if you're a blogger you obviously share the same passion in one form or another. With my newly settled decision to return to school, I've been thinking about the type of writing I'd like to do. Do I want to be a reporter? A novelist? A columnist? Journalist? Songwriter? The opportunities are in abundance. I want to narrow down my options, so I can focus on a specific goal. But since I'm still awhile away from focusing on my degree, I can at least weed out the ones I know for sure.

A reporter. I know I do not want to be a reporter. (And why is basically my whole reason for this post)! The story is always slanted. Both sides of the story are rarely told. If it was an opinionated story that is one thing, but a reporter reports facts from all sides. Too often in today's media one side is favored, and this annoys the crap out of me. It's a misrepresentation. It's untrustworthy. As a journalist, it is your job to interpret the truth to the people who have a right to know. Of course this job would be difficult, because you can only write it the way you interpret it. It's not unusual for the writer's opinion to overshadow the hard evidence. Still, a good reporter can and should always be unfavorable.

Greed.

At times we've all suffered from the terrible feeling of greed. I, more often than I would like to admit, feel greedy. "Sadly, greed is a downward spiral that leads to envy. Envy leads to debt. All lead to discontent." I often justify my "need" for something. I work hard. I deserve it! I had a freakin' tumor at 17. It was a huge setback. In turn, I deserve this! I'm a better person than she is. I deserve it more!

When I got my first credit card, I became in debt quickly. I was depressed. I bought things hoping they would make me feel better. In a short time, I was happy to get something I wanted. Those brief moments of happiness brought me satisfaction, that I wasn't receiving elsewhere in life. Over a period of time, it was a different story. I become more depressed over the bill that came every month, about the big payment I had to make. The little happiness of impulse purchases, became one huge burden. In the big picture, the things I bought didn't make me happy, the debt didn't make me happy. My hope of buying things to make me feel better totally backfired, and I paid for it. Literally.

"When we purchase more than we can afford, we are discontent with what God has given. We no longer trust that God knows best and that He will supply our needs."

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I've never been one to rush things. "It will happen when it's meant to happen," is what I say. But the feeling of greed overcomes me, and I want things to happen now. It's human nature, but it really frustrates me. It makes me angry with myself for losing sight of what is important. That whatever I'm wanting is not yet in my plan. If it's not yet in my plan, then there are obviously more important things in my plan now, that need to be focused on. It's so easy to lose focus.

Of course, it is at this very moment when I have a heavy heart, that it's easier to remember to be content, to remember that my time will also come. That God has a great plan set out for my life, and things will come to me when He feels I am ready. It's not so easy to be content with what I have, when surrounded by those who have what I don't. "It" can be such a wide range of things to. It's not always necessarily of a materialistic value. It can physical, emotional, spiritual, professional, etc.

Jealousy and greed go hand in hand. Whether greed leads to envy, or envy leads to greed, either way it's a bad mix of emotions. How do you suppress the emotions and feel content with what you have?

Fashion Smashion.

I have no fashion sense.  Okay, maybe just a little one, because my clothes aren't totally hideous and mismatched.  I like to shop, but I don't like spending my money.  I like to buy new clothes, but I'm really picky about prices.  I like to shop at Forever 21, Modcloth.com, Old Navy, Marshall's, and really just wherever else I happen to find something I like.  I used to love Urban Outfitters.  Then I just got tired of spending a lot of money on poor quality clothing.

I don't really have a style.  I will buy anything that I think I may wear one day, or might go with something, or I just think is cute and want it hanging in my closet to never wear.  I am always looking at other girls thinking "Man, she has such cute style and taste.  Even on her bad days, she looks adorable.  I'm totally jealous."

Erin's little Fall Fashion Week got me thinking.  This could be a good little challenge.  I'm currently in that "I hate everything I have in my closet.  Even though I just went shopping and got a few new things, it isn't enough."  Plus the changing of the weather just has me so indecisive of what to wear in the mornings.  My office is upstairs and usually warm all day.  So even if it's cold outside, I know I'll be warm.  It makes choosing what to wear difficult.

I took a few pictures of my outfits over the course of the week (mostly when I remembered and had time before running out the door).  Here's what I came up with:

I think this was Tuesday's outfit.  I really wanted to wear a different sweater, but I didn't have one in the right color with the right fit that I wanted.  The top is really blousey, not something I would ever normally pick out.  I wanted something different so decided to give it a shot.

Sweater:  Collection's

Top:  Collection's

Jeans:  Old Navy

Shoes:  Nordstrom Rack

Necklace:  Not sure

This must have been Wednesday.  The weather was supposed to be warm, so I knew it was gonna be hot in the office all day.

Tank top:  Target (on sale for $2.50)!

Sweater:  Marshall's

Skirt:  Old Navy

Shoes:  Nordstrom Rack

Necklace:  Forever 21

Wednesday night my mom and I went to the outlets.  I got these new pair of jeans and couldn't wait to wear them.  Besides being really long, they fit perfectly and were super comfortable.  I kinda like them cuffed, so I'm not sure if I want them tailored or not.

Shirt:  I dunno. My mom got it.

Sweater:  Target

Jeans:  Levi Outlet

Shoes:  Nordstrom Rack (again, I live in these shoes)

Necklace:  Not sure

Hat:  Pac Sun

I wasn't too excited with Friday's outfit.  The burgundy sweater was kinda dressier, and I wanted to tone it down.  I'm not crazy about it over the shirt, but whatever.  It was the end of the week, and I really just wanted to throw on a sweatshirt and be done with it.

Shirt:  No idea

Sweater:  Ann Taylor

Jeans:  Aeropostle

Shoes:  Nine West

Necklace:  Ann Taylor

This was actually kinda fun, because now looking back at my outfits, it's....I dunno.  Maybe I'll keep a "Clothing" file on my computer with pictures of outfits to go to, when I don't know what to wear.  Is that totally weird?  I did notice that I need another pair of black flats or at least more in general, because I wear those black ones far too much.  I wore a different white top most days this week.  Funny how that happened....and, I look really short in my pictures!