Plateau.

I've reached a plateau in my diet and exercise routine, and I could not be more frustrated!  I've been health conscious and exercising regularly for a year now.  I lost 10 pounds post break up, all of which I've gained back.  Good news is, I believe it's been gained back in muscle because my jeans still fit.  So, I guess my hard working is paying off...some.

Eating more healthy and exercising regularly has become a huge part of my life.  To not see results makes it so hard to continue.  I started being more conscious as a life change, not a lose weight/keep it off kind of thing.  I've always been very self conscious.  I want to feel healthy, fit, and comfortable in a bathing suit.  That is my goal.  I know I'm not fat.  I don't need to lose weight.  I know there will always be things I don't like about my body.  However, I'm working hard to hopefully become more acceptive of those things.

I'm always catching up on health and fitness news and articles.  I get a lot of tips from the lady at work who's son is a nutrition major.  There are so many rules and restrictions and guidelines to follow when figuring out the diet and exercise plan that works for you.  I'm fed up with it all!  Seriously.  I'm freaking 26 years old, I shouldn't be so overly frustrated with this, but I am.  I have a smoothie and toast usually every morning, a salad for lunch usually every day, and dinner - well, that just depends what I have time for.  I very rarely eat fast food.  If I do it's like In & Out, which I don't think is half as bad as Jack in the Box or something.  I have a very bad sweet tooth, so I do indulge but not overboard.  I work out and eat right, so I don't have to deprive myself of the things I like.

Yesterday I got the response, "Well maybe you're not eating enough calories."  First of all, I'm not a calorie counter.  I have no need to be.  I eat pretty well.  I eat when I'm hungry and eat till I'm full.  I'm not going to watch, measure, and keep track of every little thing I eat either.  I don't have the patience for it, especially since I'm not trying to lose weight.

Where is the happy medium?  Eat right and exercise, simply put, is what you're supposed to do.  But then you do it, and it gets more detailed.  There's so much more to it.  It's eating right within the recommended calorie intake.  It's mixing up your exercise routine with the right amount of toning and cardio.  But you should only do it every other day, or it's better to work out in the morning, or you should eat a handful of grapes before you exercise to boost your metabolism.  Are you freaking kidding me?

I'm losing my patience.  I don't know what to do anymore.  My life shouldn't evolve around diet and exercise.    But it's starting to, because it feels like none of it is working.  I'm becoming overly concerned with it.  My mom said "Well, maybe your just at where your supposed to be."  Easy for her to say.  She can do the 30 day shred 3 days a week for a month and already see her body changing.  I can do it 3 days a week for 3 months and not notice a slight difference.  My biggest frustration is not just not seeing results.  It's having a goal (that isn't even unattainable) and not reaching it, not even noticing any changes to lead me to think I'm well on my way to reaching it.

Runner.

I've always thought there was something special about runners.  I don't know what it is.  I used to envy long distance track runners.  They must have so much discipline to be dedicated to do something that seemed so tiring and boring.  I used to think it would be so cool to say, "I can run 5 miles or 10 miles.  I can run from Arroyo Grande to Santa Maria if I wanted to!"  Or as in the case of Sunday, from San Luis to Shell Beach.

After I started running with Running Grrrl, it never really dawned on me that I was a runner.  I'd go out nearly every day after work, meet up with my club every Saturday, and run up to 6 miles a day.  Still, I never thought to call myself a runner.  It wasn't until I got this injury that it really phased me.  I have a running related injury, common among runners.  At first I was thinking "Awesome!  I really am a runner!  I feel it's official now!"

My near 6 week running hiatus has been a lot harder than I thought it would.  At first I thought it was going to be a nice little break.  That idea lasted about 2 weeks.  I really, really began to miss it.  I missed being outside in the fresh air, meeting with the girls, and just the entire way running makes me feel.  I'd see runners on the road and hate them just a little bit!

Today, I ran my first post injury release run.  It was only a mile, because I have to take it easy.  But it felt sooo great.  I ran hard.  I ran fast.  I was so out of breath!  I loved being back out there!  Running is such a unique sport.  I am amongst those people I envied.  Now, I proudly lift my chin up, with a big smile on my face and announce "I am a runner!"

My Running Story.

I started running about a year ago now.  I was fresh off a break up from a nearly 4 year relationship.  In a 2 week period, I lost my boyfriend, moved out of my house and back with my parents, and got laid off from both of my jobs.  I felt my world was crashing down.  With all these major changes in my life in such short period of time, I knew that I was being tested.  It was either make it or break it.  I had lived with depression most of my life, and I was determined not to go back to that place.  It was time to change my life for the better, and I was going to take it.  My slate had literally been wiped clean, my time was now.

I needed an outlet.  I was so hurt, angry, and sad, but relieved, liberated and eager at the same time.  I was feeling so many different emotions and thinking way too much.  I needed to be able to escape from myself. I needed to care for my health, my body, my soul, my heart.  I needed something to focus on besides what was going on in my life.  I, myself, became that focus.  I didn't want to face people yet, and I didn't want to pay for a gym membership, so I started running.

About 8 months later, I was getting over the running.  I was feeling so alone, run down, over it.  One night I was bored and searching through the internet, hoping to find something that would re-spark my interest in running.  I came along this little blog.  I immediately emailed for more information, knowing that if I didn't, I probably never would.  I wrote that I was stepping far outside my comfort zone by even making contact, and if they had any words of encouragement to get my butt out there to meet with a bunch of girls I didn't even know, to do something I was on the verge of not wanting to do anymore.

Today, I am so thankful I got an encouraging response back.  I have met so many strong, beautiful women through Running Grrrl.  I've found them all to be so friendly, kind, encouraging, welcoming, admirable and inspirational.  It's not just the running that keeps me going to our weekly Saturday runs, but the girls.  I love that we all come together and bond over something each one of us loves (or are learning to love) to do.  I feel like I am truly part of something special.  I love that I know I have a support group who will stand up for me, help me in any way they can, support me, and pray for me.

I've for so long been looking to find something that I feel like I can belong to.  RG fits all the criteria I've been looking for.  We want strong, healthy, bodies.  We want to promote a healthy lifestyle for all women.  We want to use our gift of loving to run to help other people.  We want to reach out to our community and become involved.

I am so thankful for this lovely group of ladies.  I may not know all of them well.  We may not see each other outside of our weekly runs.  But everyone of them has become important to me, and I am so glad they've become a part of my life.